Do you remember Baldies? No,no – not the equally obscure band.,. the real-time strategy/disturbing Deliverance-style inbreeding sim from 1995? Still no? Well then, wWelcome, my friend, to a game where bald men fight to the death and also sometimes breed in a Battle Royale style sim game. Welcome.. to Baldies.
That’s right, someone thought it was a good idea to make a game exclusively revolving around bald men who live, work, and uh, procreate together. How? Just go with it. Also, be prepared for a fair bit of slaughtering their neighbours on the menu, because in the 90’s, it wasn’t entertainment unless mass extinction was the ultimate goal.
While not the most obscure of games, Wacky Wheels was well received yet was not quite the smash hit it hoped to be, and flounders in relative obscurity in these modern times.
Skidding in the drift of the more successful Mario Kart, Wacky Wheels attempted to emulate the same gameplay on the arguably superior (by that time) hardware of the IBM Personal Computer. Mode 7 Chip? We don’t need no stinking chip! What resulted was a less spectacular Mario Kart clone, but that was all it needed to do to be fun – it worked.
Drift Stage is another retro-inspired racer that isn’t afraid to express its love for neon. Admittedly, the alpha demo (download below) isn’t much and came out ages ago (sorry about that), but the project looks very much alive and has been receiving regular updates, anyone interested might want to test the ignition.
An old school macintosh hypertext adventure game styled after the horrific works of Jun Ito? Shut up and take my sanity! World of Horror peeks back beyond the cosmic veil to the beginning of the point and click adventure era, in what is as much a love letter to old school gaming as it is to old school horror.
The demo we played (dd12 at the time of downloading, latest version is dd15 -ed) was a bit rough around the edges, with an interface that is sometimes more scary than the monsters, but if you can keep grip of your mental faculties long enough, you may just enjoy World of Horror has to offer before succumbing to the embrace of the eternal abyss.
You know you’re old when people start referring to those new fangled games what with that extra 3rd dimension that all those scrappy kids are into, like Mario 64, or even Mass Effect, as “retro”. One day the likes of No Man’s Sky or Resident Evil VII will be called a “quaint retro effort with clunky controls and terrible UI” no doubt.
Anyway, my point is, is Resident Evil 4 retro now? It still feels relatively nuskool to me: shiny polygons that don’t look like Virtua Lego pieces, faster gameplay, more responsive over-the-shoulder shooting, and a bit lightened up on the ol’ tank controls. And then I take a look and see that it’s pretty dam old as far as the series goes: 12 years(!) What have I done with my life.
In any case, here we are featuring a kind of remake/re-imagining of Resident Evil 4. Or at least what Resident Evil 4 could have been before it was Resident Evil 4. Resident Evil: Codename MADMAN is one fan’s effort to put together a completely new experience based on early prototype.
I’m not sure which sin(s) Sinnerman gets his name from, but at least one of them is sloth. He certainly moves about as fast as a particularly arthritic sloth, at least. I desperately wanted to like Sinnerman, but after half a dozen deaths I couldn’t handle repeating the cycle again. If the game speeds up this one caveat though, it’d be a dangerous contender for my time.
With a name like Sample Action Game 01, expectations aren’t exactly going to be high, but where it lacks in the creative naming department, Action Game 01 more than delivers in terms of actual game. There’s not just a completely full freeware game to be found here, no, there’s oh so so much more.
Ah, Helherron. A relatively hardcore tactics-RPG game. Treats you mean, but keeps you keen with amazing tactical combat, rewarding exploration, and satisfying character progression.
It was an old, tough beast, not dissimilar to Mum’s old mutton dinner, with an unforgiving difficulty curve and even more unforgiving U.I., but probably was the best tactical RPG out there. Hell, it probably still is.
Then the developer left it all behind to become a Buddhist monk in Japan. Yes, really.
But now, Helherron has been resurrected, as the developer – some 10 years later – returned to civilisation, adding innumerable bug fixes, balance adjustments, improved A.I. and, of course, more loot. And there’s more to come.
Ever thought Alone in the Dark was all but the perfect progenitor of survival horror, suffering only from a distinct lack of melons? The answer to that problem which nobody asked for is Melone in the Dark, a pretty impressive jam game experiment that recreates the look n feel of Alone pretty awesomely well, though not much else.
Last year was a good year for old school shooters – with Z-Exemplar, Zenodyne R, Arengius, and Xydonia, among others emerging in either completed or demo-based flavours. Hawking suggests that 2017 will be no worse off, providing yet another new 80-90’s style arcade experience.