Category Archives: Beat ‘Em Up

New Retro News: Return to Stair City 2

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Time for a quick update on some new retro happenings. This week’s them is: terrible controls don’t die, they just fade away. Also, basketball.

  • Double Dragon returns, again!
  • More masochism – stair quest ascends!
  • Boom-shaka-laka! NBA JAM updated!

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New Retro Games’ Christmas Awards! (Pt. 1)

We played a lot of games this year. Some of them we even wrote about! We generally shy away from too many “best of” listicle style articles, but figured this holiday day is a good time to sit back with a hot cup of mulled beer or flask of vodka and reflect on what a year of games it has been.

Presenting….

New Retro Games’

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This isn’t a objective list, just our favourite picks from each category of game we’ve covered. As a basic ground rule, we are favouring fully playable, complete and more recently covered games. Unfinished games (beta, demos, etc) remakes, enhanced editions and the like won’t count unless unless they offered a new and complete playing experience on their own terms.

Without further ado…

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Gameboy Jam 5 Round Up

Was hoping to get out some more detailed looks into some of the 400+ entries into GBJAM5, but well, ain’t nobody got time fo dat and all that (not for lack of want though, I’d rather be playing through each game and writing about them here than working -ed). Here, at least, are a couple more tasty desserts from the GBJAM5- some choice selections from an admittedly fine menu.

The appetizer is a challenging action-platformer featuring ever Ninja’s favourite weapon, followed up by a main serving of Slug-shooting arcade action, finished off with some classic football-infused dungeon exploration. Yes, really. As a bonus supper, I’ve also included a rare treat: a Gameboy style beat ’em up.

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New Retro News: …Things Have Happened

It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times. Luckily, some old school adventure, flying, and punching action awaits just ’round the corner:

  • This is just a tribute: free Stranger Things Tribute adventure!
  • When boys were owls: platform-RPG Owlboy release date!
  • Bleeding out: Soviet Streets of Rage in Mother Russia Bleeds!

Read on to learn more…

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Old Retro News: Archives Edition

Due to the excruciating minutae of every day life, I missed quite a few windows for news posts of latest releases, ports and other new and old retro happenings alike.

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Still, not everyone religiously scans every major gaming website, minor blog by random guy, and auto-generated catch-all website for each and every thing that happens, so I figured it was worth shouting out some old news for those who have been living in a cave for the past 3 months like me.

  • Shock! A game with zombies and pixels
  • Sass! 90s style adventure game about a biker chick
  • H-h-hackers! SHODAN returns… again
  • Monsters be here: new Final Fantasy Tactics mod!

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Science Kombat

She blinded me with science! Also, a radiation beam to the face. Actually, it was probably mostly the beam. Science Kombat seeks to answer the age old question, “who would win a fight…”? Forget trifling match ups such as Godzilla vs. Ronald McDonald, Science Kombat seeks to answer the hard questions by pitting names such as Einstein, Turing and Curie against each other in bloody special-move-laden duels to the death.
ScienceCombat_title

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News: SEGA Classics Free

If you ever wanted to pick up that oversized Golden Axe and roleplay as Gimli, now’s your chance. As part of its “Make War Not Love 3” event, a collection of games including vintage fantasy slash ’em up Golden Axe are currently free on Steam.

GoldenAxe

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Sesame Street Fighter 2

There’s a lot of awesome and humorous mockups out there by talented pixel artists (and artists in general). Link and Megaman in Street Fighter 2Sure. Super Breaking Bad 2 Turbo? Yep. So when I saw a screenshot depicting an E-Honda Cookie monster facing off against a Ken red-robe clad Ernie, I naturally assumed it was yet another mockup. No. This is real. Somebody actually made a game with the Sesame Street characters teaching the joy of spelling.. through the heartfelt method of beating the crap out of each other.

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Night City Assault (demo)

Streets of Rage-like old school demo with River City Ransom RPG elements? Shut up and take my money! At least that’s what I first thought when hearing that a demo for Night City Assault was out there in the wild. The demo redefines “micro” but if you’re interested in a taste of this Greenlight/Kickstarter upstart, give it an old fashioned beating.

NightCityAssault_2

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Schiaffi & Fagioli [demo]

Schiaffi and Fagiolo is a tribute game to the Bud Spencer and Terence Hill movies – of which I’ve never seen. It is however also a tribute to retro beat em up games like Final Fight and Streets of Rage – of which I have played.

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